The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Hey, mister Oracle... > > I'm not sure if anyone has ever said this to you, but Good > Night and Pleasant Dreams. > > -s And in response, thus spake the Usenet Oracle: } The Oracle passes over the chrysoprase flagstones of the gentle } temple, jasmine on the soft summernight's air. Diana smiles down upon } him as he spreads a goatskin on the springy grass and composes himself } for sleep. } } And from the East comes an exquisite creature, of such lovliness as to } launch 1024 ships. The Oracle smiles up at her. She smiles down. } } "Oracle? You answer questions, in exchange for... payment. Right?" } } His smile is a rainbow. "Right." } } She simpers demurely. Scuffs her toe in the grass. "Well... there's } only one thing I want to know." Her bosom heaves under glittering } stars. } } "Anything, my love." } } "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck } wood?" } } The Oracle's eyes bulge. The girl smiles, but her mouth is suddenly } filled with fangs... A sudden scudding of cloud, chill wind; and from } the West the Oracle sees... THINGS! Crawling on all fours, hornrimmed } scabarous eyes dripping pus and scalps shedding snowstorms of dandruff } and painful erections throbbing through plaid trousers like month-old } hot dogs. He can hear their uncouth cries: "Why can't I get laid..." } "How can I get a date with Lisa..." "How can I meet a woman..." "Who } is Barbara?" "What do women want..." } } The Oracle lurches to his feet and pounds away over the withering } grass... } } Message from kinzler@iuvax on console at 21:59 ... } THIS IS THE LIFE I HAVE PREPARED FOR YOU. THIS IS YOUR DESTINY. YOU } CANNOT ESCAPE. } } "Why? Why has this been done this to me? Mercy! Mercy!!!" } } Message from lucifer@circle9.hell.com on console at 00:00 ... } Bitch, bitch, bitch. I suppose you'd rather be frozen up to your } schnitzelgruben in a lake of eternal ice? } } Message from shiva@peak.himalayas.nepal on console at 00:00 ... } You don't think my feet don't hurt after all this dancing? Especially } when I see Vishnu undoing all my hard work?! } } Message from odin@throne.valhalla.org on console at 00:01 ... } I gave my *eye* for *my* eternal wisdom, you little snot! Hung from } the Tree of Life for three days and nights... and I'm *still* doomed } to perish at Ragnarok! But you don't hear me complaining, do you? } } Message from osiris@memphis.mirror.org on console at 00:01 ... } It wasn't any picnic getting ripped limb from limb and widely } scattered. Not to mention the fact that they couldn't even *find* my } schnitzelgruben and now I have to make do with one of wood... } } Message from buddha@ on at 00:02 ... } This is maya, Grasshopper. Why do you resent what is not there? } } Message from cthulhu@rlyeh.pacific on console at 00:02 ... } Perhaps you'd like to TRADE PLACES, eh? Let's see what waiting for } death to die over strange aeons does for YOUR attitude! } } Message from prometheus@rock.tartus.greece on console at 00:03 ... } How do you feel about birds? } } Message from. . . Message from. . . Message from. . . } } * * * } } The Oracle jumps awake, eyes backforth flicking... gropes for the vial } of ephedrine. } } As stumbles to his blindingly white linen robe, he holds his head and } knows, as only an omniscient can know, what to expect from the coming } day. "Somebody," he says, "owes me a good night's sleep."