The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > In the 70s there were several crossover comics between Marvel and DC. > In a typical weenie move, they decided to pit Superman against Spiderman > in one. In an even stranger move (it's beyond weenie it's just plain > weird), Batman was sent up against the Hulk in the other. Instead of > the above, most comics readers would have rather seen Superman sent up > against the Hulk. Who would have won? And in response, thus spake the Usenet Oracle: } Oh, puh-leeze! I have knowledge spanning the infinite breath of the } cosmos itself! I know all! I see all! I know all the great mysteries } of the universe! I know what quasars are! I know who built the Easter } Island statues! I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WOMEN!!! } } AND YOU HAVE THE UTTER NERVE TO ASK ME WHO WOULD WIN A FIGHT BETWEEN } SUPERMAN AND THE HULK! WHY, I OUGHTTA-- } } Wait a minute. I don't actually have to answer the question myself, } now do I? I'll just create two simulations and pit them against each } other! They'll settle the situation while I go ponder more important } subjects! } } >scenario -p hulk,superman -s fight } Loading hulk...done } Loading superman...done } Loading fight...execute } } Hulk: GRR! HULK MAD! Hulk want to beat someone up! } Superman: Hold, green one! Stop your destructive ways! } Hulk: Big man in tights taunt Hulk! Hulk say fuck you! } Superman: WHAT! How dare you utter an obscenity! There are children } reading! Take this! } } [WHAMMO!] } } Hulk: RRAAH! Man in tights hit Hulk! Make Hulk mad! Hulk hit back! } } [KA-POWIE!] } [RAMBO!] } [KAOPECTATE!] } } Superman: You fight well! But let's see you counter my heat vision! } [ZAAP!] My cold breath! [FOOSH!] My X-ray vision! } Hulk: How X-ray vision hurt Hulk? } Superman: If I keep it on long enough you'll get cancer! } Hulk: Grr! How you like Hulk's Super-Bad-Breath? [HHHHHHHHHAAH!] } Superman: GASP! ACK! BARF! You...you cad! Take this and this and this! } } [POWIE!] [ZOWIE!] [BOWIE!] } } Hulk: Oooh! Hulk sore! Hulk has had enough of this! Hulk is smashing } out of simulation! [SMASH!] } } } } Superman: You're not getting away that easily! [FLY!] } Hulk: Leave Hulk alone! } Superman: Like heck, violent one! } [SLAM!] [POW!] [RAMMO!] } } >message from jones!iuvax } >What the hell is going on here? Two weird creatures are beating each } >other up on my terminal. SHIT! They're destroying my paper! } } Hulk: Hulk will impale Superman on sentence fragment! } Superman: Time to beat a hasty retreat! [SLAM!] } } >mail president@of.big.com } Subject: U of Indiana excellent place to hold conference! } Sir: } I think you will find no better place to hold your forthcoming } Ultimate Conference in Computer Science than here at Hulk will kill } Superman! You will certainly smash to pieces our facilities not if I } use my super-speed! In addition to our GRRRRAAHHH, we have a Hulk } smash large enough to } } [SHOOM!] } } Superman: There's no escaping me now! } } >message from thebigguy!iuvax: } >Stephen, what is that goddamned Oracle of yours up to now? We have } >memory faults all over the place, iuvax is threatening to "smash puny } >workstations" and this errant process is invading every die green } >behemoth! You see what I mean? Knock it off! Smash! } } Hulk: GRR! Hulk must flee! Hulk run down this Internet port! } Superman: I'll follow you to the end of time, evil one! } } Hoo boy. I think...I am in deep shit. You owe the Oracle a place to } hide out until all this blows over. Can I use your account? PLEASE?